130 posts tagged “news & politics”
Senator Robert Byrd endorsed Senator Obama yesterday, making Senator Clinton's West Virginia primary win a somewhat hollow victory.
Byrd has a cute nickname in the Senate: "Sheets". That's because he used to belong to the Ku Klux Klan.
Hillary, are you paying attention? Even the guy who used to be a Klansmen is throwing his weight behind Obama. Save yourself a shred of dignity and drop out. Sure, you'll probably win Kentucky today; only to have the nation's makers of racist jockey lawn ornaments endorse Obama next week.
I have a ton of work to catch up on for the next couple of weeks, due to circumstances too boring to explain. So in lieu of a real entry, enjoy this photo of Obama playing pool in West Virginia last week:
FUCK YEAH.
Bush says he's not a golfer in wartime: President Bush said yesterday that he gave up golfing in 2003 “in solidarity” with the families of soldiers who were dying in Iraq, concluding that it was “just not worth it anymore” to play the sport in a time of war.
It’s true, very few families who’ve lost loved ones in a horrific bloodbath take the time to walk around a spacious park-like setting and wack little white balls with metal clubs. He’s a saint!
The time he used to devote to golfing will now be spent clearing the brush from his Texas ranch, falling off his Segway, and napping.
Take that, terrorists!
What is the fucking deal with this painting that accompanies the Willamette Weekly endorsement of Obama? They do know he's running for President of the United States, not of 12-year-old girls' fevered daydreams about non-threatening boys, right?
Vote for Obama and he will shoot roses out of his crotch and bring his unicorn over to frolic!
We should all move to Oregon so we can vote for Steve Novick. Why? BECAUSE HE OPENS BEERS WITH HIS HOOK HAND.
Portions of Saddam Hussein's prison diary were published yesterday in a leading Arab-language newspaper. His biggest fear while imprisoned was not Gitmo-style torture or execution, but catching AIDS or some other “HIV disease”, because some of the soldiers were using his clothesline to dry their laundry.
“I explained to them that they are young and they could have young people’s diseases... My main concern was to not catch a venereal disease, an HIV disease, in this place.”
Apparently Saddam never saw that Very Special Episode of Mr. Belvedere where the little boy had AIDS (Trufax: I went to camp with the actor who played him the summer I was 12), and it taught us all how you don’t have to be a needle-sharing anal sex freak to get AIDS; and more importantly, you can’t get it through casual contact, so don’t treat people with AIDS like lepers. If he had he probably would have known that you shouldn’t write in your diary, if you are a deposed dictator and it’s almost certainly going to be published one day, how you feared getting it from a god damn clothesline, because you’ll look like a fucking idiot.
I still think hiring this lunatic made him look stupider, though.
If it were any other network, I'd think this graphic was the result of a production assistant who either had a snarky sense of humor, or who'd just smoked a phat spliff. Since it was Faux News, I'm going to assume this is just another in a long line of painfully stupid gaffs:
On a recent episode of Fox and Friends, the commentators were discussing the prospect of yet another Hillary/Obama debate, and kept referring to it as a "Lincoln/Douglas-style debate". The graphic was put up inviting viewers to email their opinions.
Apparently the geniuses at Fox think Lincoln debated the issue of slavery, not with pro-slavery dweeb and historical footnote Stephen Douglas, but with escaped slave and abolitionist Frederick Douglass. You know, the guy who was on the same side of the issue as Lincoln? What an interesting debate that would have been.
Lincoln: But in the right to eat the bread, without the leave of anybody else, which his own hand earns, he is my equal and the equal of every living man.
Douglass: I agree with everything my noted opponent just said! Next question.
He didn't even spell his last name the same way, but that's like the least stupid thing about this whole idiocy.
They should have put up a graphic of Michael Douglas. Remember that one time he pretended to be the President? That would have made more sense.
The smartypants at PopPhoto used their mad age-progression Photoshopping skillz to show us what the Presidential candidates might look like at the end of their first term. I guess in case you wanted to vote based on who would have the most liver spots.
I call bullshit on their prediction for Obama, though. Ain’t they never heard the phrase “Black don’t crack”?
Editor’s note: One of these photos may or may not have been altered for cheap laffs.
Arugula got into Yale on his daddy's connections and money, skated through with "Gentlemen's Cs", and avoided Vietnam. Oh wait, that was the current president.
Since the media has decided that they're going to portray Obama as some out-of-touch "elitist", Newsweek dug up a trivial incident from last July where he mentioned arugula to some hicks in Iowa. The article then goes on to throw around a lot of exhausted stereotypes about beer and fancy greens.
If voting for someone based on their taste in alcoholic beverages and salad ingredients is what we're all going to do, someone with a taste for absinthe and bitter endive better step up. Hey, I have exotic and eclectic tastes.
I'd like to say that arugula has come a long way; sadly, I'm all-too-aware that some parts of the country are still suspicious of anything other than iceberg. In rural Louisiana, "salad" is still a wedge of lettuce with a dollop of mayo on it.
What happens if one ingests arugula and beer at the same time? Does it make your small intestine a red organ and your large intestine a blue organ, and do they start arguing about abortion? And where do wine coolers and microbrews fall into this conservative/liberal spectrum??
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