35 posts tagged “celebrities”
I have no idea in what kind of context this was done, nor do I care.
Dorothy Zbornak is my sartorial heroine. If I live to be a senior citizen, I am totes going to wear layered sweaters that go down to my knees and have huge shoulder pads, flowy wide-legged satin pants, and waist-length bead necklaces.
...nah, probably not.
Rich from FourFour has done the world the incomparable service of watching the entire terrible Anna Nicole Smith basic-cable biopic and distilling it into one 7-minute capsule of awesomeness. Watch out for Karl Fucking Malden playing her ancient billionare husband.
If I ever watch this whole movie, it will only be to take part in a drinking game in which you do a shot every time someone says "titties", "Marilyn Monroe", or "TrimSpa".
Frances Bean Cobain is interviewed by Harper's Bazaar. I remember when she was born. I was in high school when she was born!
She's really lovely; she looks so much like her father.
Though Frances is happy to be in the spotlight onstage, the media glare is not as seductive. "I could be at Hyde every night," she says. "I could be a party girl." She has been to a few soirees, sometimes with girlfriend Tallulah Willis (Demi Moore's daughter), "but I don't want my picture in every single tabloid." Frances won't be hosting a club opening in Las Vegas anytime soon, then. "Ah, you found me out!" she jokes drolly. "My secret identity is Baby Jesus, and I deejay all the time. In really, really slutty, go-getting outfits."
... could someone please sit them down and explain to them that they look retarded with collagen lips? Someone they'll listen to, like Oprah??
<----- Dear old Firecrotch ought to sue whoever did hers, because they're noticeably lopsided. Hope your inevitable boob job (or has she already had one?) doesn't come out the same way! And coupled with her blank fembot eyes, those lips make Brittany Murphy look like a cheap blow-up doll. More so than usual.
No one, anywhere, ever, has ever been improved with the addition of couch-cushion lips. If you don't come by them naturally (Angelina Jolie et. al.), trying to gain them by injecting foreign substances into your face is not a solution.
And it's not like this is a new revelation. The nation howled and wept with laughter over Meg Ryan's infamous Trout Lips more than a decade ago. See, this is why I charitably judge starlets as "not too bright", because they continue to line up and pay for the privilege of looking totally ludicrous.
Also, am I wrong in thinking that your lips don't really start to thin until you're well into your 30s, at the earliest? I'm 33 and I have yet to notice any thinning (although admittedly, that's not a fair yardstick, because the women in my family tend not to look their ages). Murphy has yet to blow out 30 candles on her birthday cake; Lohan is 21. 21! Who starts getting cosmetic surgery designed for paranoid middle-aged women desperate to hang onto their rich husbands when they're 21?!
Hat tip to Pajiba
Oh, Kitten.
Look, I don't mind that you let yourself go between movies and are frequently photographed looking bloated, greasy, and generally like 40 miles of bad road. I don't mind that you often make cryptic and nonsensical remarks to interviewers or on the red carpet that indicate you are currently drunk, on mushrooms, or out of your freaking mind. I don't mind the vegan thing and that you allegedly cried when a date once ordered softshell crabs. And I don't mind that you don't really seem all that bright, probably as a result of being raised in a weird pseudo-Christian hippy cult and consequently being unfamiliar with institutionalized education. I'll always have a fangirl crush on you and watch even terrible movies you make with Nicholas Cage or John Revolta. And I'm glad you're supporting the WGA strike. However, this
is pushing it. Honey, you misspelled your own name.
*facepalm*
You stay classy, New York Post:
He's beating up angels now!
In somewhat less horrible news, Wal-Mart has pulled from their shelves underpants that seem to suggest junior girls use their genitals as payment for goods and services. I'm more offended by the fact that these things got all the way through quality control without anyone realizing that an ellipsis has three dots.
And in news that should surprise no one with a fully-functioning brain and at least a passing familiarity with the pop culture of the past 30 years, Jodie Foster has come out of the closet--not that she was ever that deeply in it.
Okay, confession: I never watch any awards shows. Not the Oscars, not the Golden Globes, not the Daytime Technical Spanish-Language Emmies, and certainly not the MTV VMAs. They're the most ridiculous, contentless, bloated parade of back-slapping celebrity of them all. And MTV has a lot of nerve handing out awards for music videos, when they haven't actually played a music video in a decade.
But that doesn't stop me from having an opinion, damn it!
So I guess everyone is talking about how awful Britney Spears' performance was. Bad lyp-synching, half-hearted dancing, glassy-eyed boredom (or possibly drunkeness--would anyone be shocked at this point?). And of course, most media outlets are getting a dig in at her physical appearance. "Bad weave" and "stripperware" I can agree with. (Although does anyone expect Britney Spears to perform in a burqa?) But "fat"? Come on, people. She is not fat by any definition.
Feministing brings up a good point:
But here's the thing: While I agree that calling her fat is stupid (simply on the grounds that it isn't correct), I'm not sure I agree with this analogy. Britney Spears isn't a "real" musician/singer. She's a sexy image that her record label uses as a mouthpiece for whatever manufactured pop trend is popular. She's practically a cardboard cutout. She's nothing but image, so isn't snarking on that image a valid form of criticism?
I'm getting a little tired of the Kick Britney While She's Down bandwagon, but she helped contribute to the atmosphere in the music industry where style matters more than substance, so isn't this just desserts? However, the case can be made that since she was so young when she started (and probably was pushed by family members/unscrupulous music executives, and frankly seems too unintelligent to fully grasp what was being done), the fault lies more with the music industry in general and her handlers in particular.
I don't know. The whole thing makes me feel a little queasy, but I'm not sure it isn't warranted. What do you think?
In other somewhat feminist-related news, what is this bullshit about nude photos of Vanessa Hudgens being leaked? And she's apologizing for it?? What is she apologizing for, exactly? Being a healthy young woman with a normal libido who plays vanilla sex games like sending nude photos to her boyfriend? Having untrustworthy, unscrupulous friends who would intercept and leak such photos? Wasting her energy trying to entice her obviously gay "boyfriend"?
I'm confused--was it your intention to make Gwynneth Paltrow look like a tranny trying to pull off Donatella Versace?
Mind you, if this was an actual trangendered person, I would be thrilled. I would be all "Dude, check it out, there's a totally fierce tranny on the cover of W who looks like Gwynneth Paltrow masquerading as Donatella Versace!" Because who doesn't love transgendereds?
...it's possible I've lived in the Bay Area for too long.
Us Magazine is reporting that Jessica Simpson's movie Blonde Ambition is going to skip theaters and go to straight to DVD.
“The movie is absolutely horrible,” says a source. “It’s just a bomb, mainly because of Jessica’s acting.”
Presumably they couldn't afford acting lessons for their star after blowing all the money on wigs. Seriously, what the hell is that thing on her head? And the cosmetics that came with the 1970s-era Barbie make-up head looked better than what she's wearing in that photo.
Also: "Blonde Ambition"? Yeah, that pun isn't tired and worn-out at all.
I wonder if she does her freakish dashboard bobblehead impersonation and truly bizarre lip movements in this cinematic atom bomb?
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