it's time for another rousing round of "let's deconstruct this bullshit article"!

Freud sez: "Fräulein Allen, why you be hatin' on teh laydeez?"

Charlotte Allen's self-loathing screed about how stupid us gals are ("We scream, we swoon. How dumb can we get?", Washington Post) has been blowing up the feminist blogosphere. She makes so many sweeping generalizations and cherry-picked arguments, someone needs to gently break it to her, "Honey, women aren't dumb. You are."

I expect this kind of garbage from WingNutDaily or Free Republic, but WaPo? I am so very, very disappointed in you, WaPo. Don't make me get out Principal Vernon again! They're now claiming it was "satire" (not bothering to explain why, if this is the case, they gave Allen a follow up Q&A to "defend" her position), but a quick Google of her name proves that she has been penning this kind of misogynistic trash for years.

Anyway, back to dear Charlotte. Good lord, where to begin?

And when they weren't screaming, the fair-sex Obama fans who dominated the rally of 16,000 were saying things like: "Every time I hear him speak, I become more hopeful." Huh?

I'm sorry, what is so difficult to understand about this? Does she not grok the emotion of "hope", because she's all cold and dead inside? Or does she merely not understand that some people--men as well as women--feel hopeful that Obama can win the election and make the country a better place to live in?

She doesn't have to agree with that, but claiming not to "get it" is either disengenuous, or brickbrained stupid.

Even some feminists can't believe that there's this thing called "The Oprah Winfrey Show" or that Celine Dion actually sells CDs.

Right, because there has never, in the history of teevee and popular music, been painfully mediocre product aimed towards men. "Cheaters" and Limp Bizkit are the very pinnacle of high class genius in their respective mediums.

And obviously men do dumb things, too... It has to do with the aggressive male nature and an instinctive fear of danger from other aggressive men.

Men have good reason act stupid! Sciencey douchebags say so! Women just act stupid because THEY stupid! *grunts and scratches pits*

This is the kind of literature that countless women soak up like biscotti in a latte cup: food, clothes, sex, "relationships" and gummy, feel-good "spirituality."

And all literature that concerns one or more of those things, from The Epic of Gilgamesh to Hemingway, have all the emotional depth of a Sex in the City rerun.

And Tom Clancy is, once again, a genius.

No man contracts nebulous diseases whose existence is disputed by many if not all doctors.

Okay, this is where she really started to lose me. Is Charlotte Allen seriously saying that no men have ever been hypochondriacs? Seriously??

Depressing as it is, several of the supposed misogynist myths about female inferiority have been proven true. Women really are worse drivers than men, for example.

Bzzzt, sorry dear, you're totally wrong. Women get into more accidents than men; but the severity of the accidents they're in are significantly lower, which is why all car insurance companies offer women lower premiums.

Still, I guess this is forgivable, since, as a stupid woman, Charlotte is bad at math and statistics and stuff.

The theory that women are the dumber sex is amply supported by neurological and standardized-testing evidence.

No, it isn't. This statement is made of fail.

I don't even know how many pairs of shoes I own.

And I don't know any men who own hundreds of video games and DVDs, or who buy porn before paying their bills. Wait, is "every single heterosexual unmarried man between the ages of 18-35 that I personally know" a number?

Men's and women's brains not only look different, but men's brains are bigger than women's (even adjusting for men's generally bigger body size).

And Neanderthal man's brain was bigger than modern man's. Brain size is not a measure of either intelligence or adaptability. Jeez, Charlotte probably still believes in phrenology, too.

I predict that over the long run, however, even with all the special mentoring and role-modeling the 21st century can provide, the number of women in these fields [fighter pilots, architects, tax accountants, chemical engineers, Supreme Court justices and brain surgeons] will always lag behind the number of men, for good reason.

And that reason is obviously because they're all a bunch of peabrained ninnies; not because they're being educated in a patriarchy where they have to perform twice as well to be considered half as good as their male colleagues. Oh, and having women-hating bitches like you pushing them down at every turn is only going to help!

So I don't understand why more women don't relax, enjoy the innate abilities most of us possess (as well as the ones fewer of us possess) and revel in the things most important to life at which nearly all of us excel: tenderness toward children and men and the weak and the ability to make a house a home.

Yeah, stop wanting to make a difference in the world and leave it to those big-brained men! The most you can ever hope for is to have carpets that don't clash with the blinds and children who don't grow up to hate you!!