dear diary: prison sucks

You can TOO get gonorrhea from a toilet seat!

Portions of Saddam Hussein's prison diary were published yesterday in a leading Arab-language newspaper. His biggest fear while imprisoned was not Gitmo-style torture or execution, but catching AIDS or some other “HIV disease”, because some of the soldiers were using his clothesline to dry their laundry.

“I explained to them that they are young and they could have young people’s diseases... My main concern was to not catch a venereal disease, an HIV disease, in this place.”

Apparently Saddam never saw that Very Special Episode of Mr. Belvedere where the little boy had AIDS (Trufax: I went to camp with the actor who played him the summer I was 12), and it taught us all how you don’t have to be a needle-sharing anal sex freak to get AIDS; and more importantly, you can’t get it through casual contact, so don’t treat people with AIDS like lepers. If he had he probably would have known that you shouldn’t write in your diary, if you are a deposed dictator and it’s almost certainly going to be published one day, how you feared getting it from a god damn clothesline, because you’ll look like a fucking idiot.

I still think hiring this lunatic made him look stupider, though.