crack investigative team blows lid off of emo epidemic in utah

There's just so much in this video worth mocking, I literally do not know where to begin. The assertion that emo "came out of the internet"? The warning that "some of what you are about to see... may be disturbing"? Well yes, I am quite disturbed by butt-ugly emo haircuts. The reference to "an underground culture of kids who wear black clothing and hair?" Or possibly the mention of "advanced emo kids", as if it were some role-playing game.

The funniest part is how they obviously do not get how a lot of the allegedly "disturbing" things they are showing are obviously jokes. Those stupid online quizzes, insta-emo kits, the video of the guy shrieking "What am I supposed to do with all these emotions?!" in a high-pitched voice. Do these people just not remember being teenagers, or were they hatched as full-blown adults, without having experienced some stupid form of middle-class, suburban teen angst?

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, seeing as it's Utah. Fly-over states are generally at least 5 years behind the rest of the country when it comes to pop culture, and the LDS sees sinister cabals everywhere. I remember my Mormon friends' parents railing against The Rocky Horror Picture Show when I was in high school. They honestly believed it was a some kind of cult that traveled the country and tried to brainwash impressionable youth into committing acts of homosexual deviance.

And it's not just Utah: Emo strikes North Dakota!