checks calendar, makes sure it's not 1692

May 7, 2008 at 11:07 AM
1 comment

Just when you think Floridians have exhausted their apparent monopoly on Dark Ages-level intellect in America, they manage to lower the bar just a little more: A Florida substitute teacher has been suspended for accusations of "wizardry" after he performed a magic trick in class.

Wait, so that time my father seemed to make his thumb detach from his hand, it wasn’t just a clever illusion, but Dark Magic? BURN HIM!!!

How is it even possible to accuse someone of "wizardry"? How can the school official, upon hearing that, not say, "I'm sorry, but that's not a real thing. Please come back when you have a complaint about something that actually exists."??

Later this week the Land O’ Lakes school board will have an emergency meeting to discuss whether or not they should implicate a stoning policy for teachers who teach heliocentrism.